what is your biggest turn off

Category: Dating and Relationships

Post 1 by jessmonsilva (Taking over the boards, one topic at a time.) on Monday, 12-Sep-2005 4:12:08

An interesting question sure to get some good responses, thought I'd throw it out there.

Post 2 by PorkInCider (Wind assisted.) on Monday, 12-Sep-2005 5:07:32

A Hygienically challenged vagina.

Post 3 by Harp (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Monday, 12-Sep-2005 5:28:19

blackbird

Post 4 by The Roman Battle Mask (Making great use of my Employer's time.) on Monday, 12-Sep-2005 6:44:18

British people in general, I think that covers the last two posters as my turnoff's. Oh also I don't like independence in a woman, all of them getting all uppity about womans rights and such, I mean that was so 30 years ago, time always proves tried and true methods work best, back to the mail having all leagual rights, end of story.

Post 5 by Ukulele<3 (Try me... You know you want to.) on Monday, 12-Sep-2005 9:40:39

Lol to Kev and Dan's comments!!! My biggest turn off, I would have to say, is when the man that I'm with impersonates strange accents during intercourse. hehehehe I would like to add that this has actually happened!!! Ug. I was in the middle of being fingered when, much to my surprise; he started whispering to me in that way. Hahahahahah I just lost my appetite for sex and to even think about it now still disgusts me!!!
Um. So guys, as much as I might like the accents, don’t try to be something you’re not!!!! Heheheheheh
*sexy*

Post 6 by Harp (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Monday, 12-Sep-2005 10:35:09

michelle. can i parrrrrrk my carrrrr in your yarrrrrrd?

Post 7 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Monday, 12-Sep-2005 11:15:43

Hmmmm ... guys who think they are the coolest people in the word.

Post 8 by Texas Shawn (The cute, cuddley, little furr ball) on Monday, 12-Sep-2005 11:22:49

A Hygienically challenged vagina. lol. lol. yeah got to agree with that one, no tuna fish girlys!

Post 9 by sugar (Entertain me. I dare you.) on Monday, 12-Sep-2005 12:09:48

omg..... iiiiiiw,

Post 10 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Monday, 12-Sep-2005 12:15:13

Anyone chweing gum or eating with their mouths open..Scottish teenagers ect trying to imitate americans..ignorant childish people who are incredibly talented at being abusive..addicts you just can't trust them..20p for a cup a tea pal..since when has tea cost so little in Glasgow! the eejits tearing Belfast apart with their sectarian hatred..smug english sports commentators..

Post 11 by Harp (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Monday, 12-Sep-2005 13:14:10

you must have an incredibly odd sex life goblin if any of those things regularly get in the way! hmm

Post 12 by sugar (Entertain me. I dare you.) on Monday, 12-Sep-2005 16:25:18

rofl!

Post 13 by Ukulele<3 (Try me... You know you want to.) on Monday, 12-Sep-2005 16:37:29

hehehehe I was hoping to read some realistic stories but so far, mine is the craziest one out there!!! I remember one time, I tried my best to turn a guy off because he was going too fast and I wasn't ready for what we were about to do. hehehhhehehehe I didn't have the guts to tell him to stop but I knew I wasn't ready. I guess I was so afraid that he wouldn't love me if I didn't let him go all the way with me. What a dumb F*** I was back then!!! Well, to stop him, I called out someone else's name. Needless to say, I did get my wish. We stopped. hehehe But he didn't have the wish to continue. So women, that's something you can do if you, like me, don't have any backbone in you. hehehehe And Dan, you can parrrrrk your carrrrr in my yarrrrrd any toime you loike!!!
*sexy*

Post 14 by KC8PNL (The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better.) on Monday, 12-Sep-2005 17:13:41

Or you could start talking about his mom and dad, but some guys might get in to that stuff, so be careful. You may learn more about that person than you bargained for.

Post 15 by jessmonsilva (Taking over the boards, one topic at a time.) on Monday, 12-Sep-2005 20:43:25

Eeeeeeeeue, gross!

Post 16 by Texas Shawn (The cute, cuddley, little furr ball) on Monday, 12-Sep-2005 22:03:46

well there is that joke about doing the girl from behind and leaning down and whispering in her ear, "your nearly as good as your sister" and then see if you can hang on for 10 seconds.

Post 17 by PorkInCider (Wind assisted.) on Monday, 12-Sep-2005 22:37:25

Shawn, that's one of the ways to practice for the bucking bronco before the anual fair comes around isn't it?

Post 18 by The Roman Battle Mask (Making great use of my Employer's time.) on Monday, 12-Sep-2005 22:39:06

In the US it's called the texas rodio.

Post 19 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Tuesday, 13-Sep-2005 2:14:10

Or people who are spitting out on the street. Just disgusting. Spitting out in front of other people's feet.

Post 20 by PorkInCider (Wind assisted.) on Tuesday, 13-Sep-2005 6:30:22

Now Ines, I could understand if they were doing that in the bedroom, but well...

Post 21 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Tuesday, 13-Sep-2005 6:34:42

Well both I would say. But would you be glad and say "thank you" if someone spit out in front of you? Wouldn't that make you think this other person wants to insult you?

Post 22 by Texas Shawn (The cute, cuddley, little furr ball) on Tuesday, 13-Sep-2005 9:06:10

yeah, Blindguy got it right Kev!

Post 23 by PorkInCider (Wind assisted.) on Tuesday, 13-Sep-2005 11:15:32

Ines, of course I would, but that would annoy me, disgust me, but I wouldn't consider it in a sexual way at all, which for me is what to be turned on or off means.

Post 24 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Tuesday, 13-Sep-2005 11:39:23

Well ... imagine now you are looking after a good-looking girl. She realizes it, turns around and spits in front of you. Would you still look after her then?

Post 25 by PorkInCider (Wind assisted.) on Tuesday, 13-Sep-2005 12:32:51

I'm not convinced that could happen, but I guess I'd not want her quite the same way. That's always asuming that I go looking for girls like that.

Post 26 by Flidais (WISEST IS SHE WHO KNOWS THAT SHE DOES NOT KNOW) on Tuesday, 13-Sep-2005 12:54:03

Arrogance lol

Post 27 by sugar (Entertain me. I dare you.) on Tuesday, 13-Sep-2005 13:58:43

quite simply.... Unhygenic people.

Post 28 by Ukulele<3 (Try me... You know you want to.) on Tuesday, 13-Sep-2005 14:12:53

I don't know. I haven't ever met a woman who spits pubblically. I've only seen guys do it. But there could be that exception.
*sexy*

Post 29 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Wednesday, 14-Sep-2005 3:55:53

People who rush me sexually.

Post 30 by PorkInCider (Wind assisted.) on Wednesday, 14-Sep-2005 3:59:31

Hey Ines, Fancy a fuck? I know we haven't met, but well, there's no harm in asking. lol

Post 31 by rdfreak (THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE-BLUE KANGA-KICKIN AUSIE) on Wednesday, 14-Sep-2005 5:55:19

well Harp, first of all, the originator to this topic didn't mention in what context, so though this board topic is in relationships, um .. Goblin has free rain? Lol does it have to be about sex? Lol .. secondly, in response to the unhygenic vaginas thing, let me tell you a story a friend is always telling me, even though she's told me just about 99999999 times! Well one of her exes didn't kinda shower that often. so course they'd do the intercourse thing, then the next day or three or six, he wanted her to go down on him and it smelt and tasted like stail pussy! Lol (yeah I really am so pleased to be reminded about this - six-year old story! :)
Thirdly girls, never mention other guys' names in bed! even if it is just nothing at all that happened with the guy ever, it's not alright?! haha!

Post 32 by jessmonsilva (Taking over the boards, one topic at a time.) on Wednesday, 14-Sep-2005 6:01:20

Wow, I have really found some interesting stories, and interesting turn offs as well, let's just hope some of these never happen. Lol. I'll be honest with you, I am also turned off by anal sex, eeeeeue, I tried it once, but no go, didn't like it much, so guys no anal sex for me, sorry...

Post 33 by Witchcraft (Account disabled) on Wednesday, 14-Sep-2005 6:03:31

LOL, Hmm, what turns me off, talking about his exes before hand, or there is the all time killer of the guy wanting all the pleasure...Even if I'm raring to go before hand you can bet I won't be if that's all he wants is for me to pleasure him. I had an ex like that who thought only guys should get pleasure, and all I can say is, thank god he was small because it would have majorly hurt if he weren't, but I did it because I loved him, and was young and stupid enough to think he loved me too...

Post 34 by sugar (Entertain me. I dare you.) on Wednesday, 14-Sep-2005 8:10:30

Huh, Wc, I feel you... Stuff that.... An Rachel? That's raw! Man, whoever it was, she's clearly either desperate, got very odd taste and was very much in love with this guy, or just plain disgusting! omg. no. bad! Oh yeh Jess? I think you just shattered all Harp's illusions, lol.

Post 35 by Texas Shawn (The cute, cuddley, little furr ball) on Wednesday, 14-Sep-2005 9:36:37

all right, allright, rdfreak yeesh. that was ruff! you did something few people have done and that's gross me out! lol.

Post 36 by wildebrew (We promised the world we'd tame it, what were we hoping for?) on Wednesday, 14-Sep-2005 12:19:51

I think he was the one who had "very odd taste" indeed.
I have to site with Goblin, chewing with onem's mouth open gets on my nerves to no end. Just sexually nothing particular I can think off really, may be asking me to move so the girl can get the remote control and change the channel or if she falls asleep in the middle I think would be a bit of a turn off, to say the least.

Post 37 by laced-unlaced (Account disabled) on Thursday, 15-Sep-2005 14:24:33

my biggist turn off i'd have to say if someone smells awfull. especially if we are at a resturant or something like that!

Post 38 by melodica (Account disabled) on Thursday, 15-Sep-2005 15:37:01

Mine is anyone who's standing right in front of me with alcohol on their breath or is smoking and the nicotine smell is everywhere or hasn't put deodorant on their armpits. I was once in the high school lunch line and a guy was in front of me who apparently hadn't known that deodorant existed, ecch!

Post 39 by laced-unlaced (Account disabled) on Thursday, 15-Sep-2005 16:02:06

that's just horrid

Post 40 by wildebrew (We promised the world we'd tame it, what were we hoping for?) on Thursday, 15-Sep-2005 16:24:53

Aah, yeah, why did I forget, people who smoke, a girl who has smoked is just pretty much a turn off, no matter how hot she is, it smells just too strongy and I bet it tastes strongly too ..the mere thought of kissing a girl that just smoked is eehm not a pleasent one. Perfume can definitely also make or break your initial perception in the blnd world since that's one of the first things blindies would notice about you.
cheers
-B

Post 41 by laced-unlaced (Account disabled) on Thursday, 15-Sep-2005 16:28:39

saying that though it dipends how much she has smoked!

Post 42 by jessmonsilva (Taking over the boards, one topic at a time.) on Friday, 16-Sep-2005 7:05:06

Yeah I don't like smoking breath that much either. Yuck!

Post 43 by wildebrew (We promised the world we'd tame it, what were we hoping for?) on Friday, 16-Sep-2005 10:22:01

Stargate, nope it doesn't matter much actually, one cigarette is about 3/4ths as bad as 10.

Post 44 by sugar (Entertain me. I dare you.) on Friday, 16-Sep-2005 10:30:10

Hmm, nickertine, or coffee. i wonder which one's worse?

Post 45 by laced-unlaced (Account disabled) on Friday, 16-Sep-2005 10:32:08

coufie.

i used to have a friend called emma and she stank of the stuff

Post 46 by Brooke (I just keep on posting!) on Friday, 16-Sep-2005 11:03:39

Ugh! *shudders* Wow, some of the stories in here were ROUGH!! But I have to agree with what has already been said a few times. My biggest turn off would have to be a guy that is hygenically challenged. I remember a few years ago, I was at a friend's house. One of her husband's friends had seen me, and I guess he was interested. He came up into their house and brought a stench with him that made us all step back a few hundred feet. Their four-year-old daughter commented right out loud, "You really stink!" And then my friend's husband actually asked this guy to leave.

Post 47 by wildebrew (We promised the world we'd tame it, what were we hoping for?) on Friday, 16-Sep-2005 11:03:44

Sugar, try a combination of the two *shudders* we used to have a teacher who both smoked and drank coffee and when he came over to help you you better made sure not to breathe, it's so so discusting, ;) that being said I do drink coffee but very occasionally and usually use mouthwash afterwards because the aftertaste of it is just nasty.

Post 48 by guitargod1 (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Saturday, 28-Jan-2006 23:32:52

one of the biggest turn offs for me is a girl who either doesn't bathe enough or just is not nice/ladylike. I don't mean that in the wrong sense but if you had dated an English girl, (great), japanese girl, (fantastic!), and then a girl from New York city, you would probably understand where i am coming from completely! New York city girls, take a lesson from the girls in the south of England and Asia! And wanna be ghetto girls are the biggest turn off of all.

Post 49 by SensuallyNaturallyLiving4Today (LivingLifeAndLovingItToo) on Wednesday, 01-Feb-2006 22:08:13

Hmmm, turn offs. Well, smoking for one. No ciggeret smokers, although a pipe would be all right, provided that it only be smoked outside or only on occasion in the house. Some types of pipe tobacco smell quite nice, if they aren't the pervasive odor of the house that one notices right off, upon entering. There is one sort that smells a bit like vanilla, and I actually enjoy the faint smell of it on someone's clothing or hands. Smoking isn't just a turn off for me, it is a huge health risk, as I, unlike many people, actually care about my health. Also, and more importantly, I am a voice major, and secondhand smoke, even from clothing, hair or belongings could do major dammage to my voice. Music is my first love, and any guy would have to come second, or at least on the issue of smoking. Guys who openly refer to sexual intercourse as, fucking, screwing, banging, refer to me as, baby, gal, or use such expressions as, sucking face, going down on, etc. This must be terribly old fassion, but I'm looking for a gentleman. I know they are a rare breed nowadays, but a girl can dream can't she? Body odor, yuck, and long or sharp toe or fingernails. A guy who speaks openly and crudely about our physical relationship in public, would also have to be in my top ten turn offs. Also up there on my list are, guys who don't like, kids, dogs, and especially my Siamese, men who think of women as property, and men who won't communicate about what pleases them, and what they can do to please their partner. Ok, I'm done now.

Post 50 by Maria from Ireland (Generic Zoner) on Tuesday, 28-Feb-2006 12:42:01

My biggest turn offs would be: 1. people who have no respect for me as a person and for my feelings and boundries. 2. people who are only conserned with their own pleasure. 3. people who don't wash enough. Rachel, I had a similar experience to your friends. the only differents is I ended it with him after just one week. I just couldn't stand it! He also envaded my personal space, but that's an other story. 4. people who smell or taist of onions I just can't stand the stuff!

5. guys who are sexest. 6. Anal sex is also my turn off.

Jessica, I know exactly what you mean. I've been trying it for 3 years and never got to like it. 7. people who treat their partners like property.

Smoky breath and taste doesn't bother me much. I guess that's because my dad has been a smoker.

I do get a migrainne if I'm in the room with more than one person smoking. Coffee, I don't know. So far all my partners were tea drinkers.

That's all my turn offs in no particular order.

Maria.

Post 51 by jessmonsilva (Taking over the boards, one topic at a time.) on Thursday, 02-Mar-2006 9:52:18

Hmmmm, well, personally I can't really say anything about the smoker thing anymore, as I have kinda learned to get used to it, needless to say it still stinks, but I guess I just learned to deal with it. I really can't tell him to stop smoking, if I don't stop drinking, so... It's only fair.

Post 52 by Pink Pineapple (Veteran Zoner) on Friday, 17-Mar-2006 12:20:56

Biggest turn off for me are people who are controling or, only care about sex I mean there's more to a realationship than that or, there should be.

Post 53 by Marissapc2010 (Zone BBS is my Life) on Sunday, 19-Mar-2006 8:37:33

Hmm, well I have to agree people that smell bad, and smokers. Another big one that hasn't been mentioned is if your with someone and you just start something sexual and they stop all together and ask, are you ok? Are you nervis? Do you wanna continue this? I have a mouth, I can and will tell you if something is wrong or your going to far. No reason to ruin the mood with it. I guess I can understand there concern, I just can't stand that.

Post 54 by jessmonsilva (Taking over the boards, one topic at a time.) on Sunday, 19-Mar-2006 8:50:47

I agree Rissa, I guess people just get too nervous for their own good sometimes.

Post 55 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Sunday, 19-Mar-2006 11:15:59

yeah, i hate when people do that, it just totally ruins everything for me.

Post 56 by HauntedReverie (doing the bad mango) on Monday, 20-Mar-2006 16:48:26

turn offs would be arrogance, men with old fashioned women should stay in the kitchen views, guys who constantly shower me with indearments (that gets really cheesey and annoying), of course hygenicly challenged guys are a turn off. Guys who only want sex are definetly on my shit list, and cheaters

Post 57 by Marissapc2010 (Zone BBS is my Life) on Tuesday, 21-Mar-2006 15:40:13

Well, I don't think there is a person in the world that gets all hot and bothered over cheeters. lol, but yes, deffenetly my worst is the one already mentioned.

Post 58 by wahaha (Zone BBS Addict) on Thursday, 30-Mar-2006 19:29:49

its simple, stupidity...

Post 59 by Spirit Led Poet (a single snowflake falling from the stars above) on Wednesday, 03-May-2006 23:50:34

for me the biggest turn offs in a guy would be long hair for some reason..i hate it, guys who only think about sex..relationships are about way more then sex, cheeter, the hygeen issue is very important, and oh yeah guys who think they can control there girls andand she'll do as you say out of fear..you kind of guys can go to hell..and one more the guy who thinks all he's gotta do is get his girl drunk and its on..pssshhh fuck that guys notnot this girl..well i think i'm done now

Post 60 by Fruity Biscuit (fluffy things are grate come join me on my cloud. ) on Sunday, 14-May-2006 7:27:56

i think some of the biggest turn offs, are as many have said, dirty smelly people, long toe nails, beerd or any hair on the face, smelly feet, annel sex i too have tried and wasn't fussed, some one that is lazy in bed and wants the woman to do it all, men that don't listen. hmm, think that is it for now that i can think of

Post 61 by King Reeses (King of all Peanut Butter) on Sunday, 06-Aug-2006 15:18:34

Let's see biggest turn offs I would have to say people who only go for people based on just looks and people who can't end a relationship on their own meaning people who have to ask their friend to end it for them, people who can't stick up for themselves.

Post 62 by tear drop (No longer looking for a prince, merely a pauper with potential!!!!!) on Friday, 18-Aug-2006 17:05:33

some of my biggest turn offs hmmmm..... have to be smoking, partners who take a superior attitude toward there significant others, and just plain inattention to detail

Post 63 by maddog (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Friday, 18-Aug-2006 17:42:37

Hmmm, biggest turn off? Let's see, if the person was a guy, if the person had lots of body hair, smoking's definitely bad too, if the person has a monotone voice like our friendly neighborhood roman battle mask, and...hmmm, I can't think waht else!

Post 64 by Siriusly Severus (The ESTJ 1w9 3w4 6w7 The Taskmaste) on Sunday, 28-Jun-2009 13:50:19

Are you kidding ?There are so many. The one big one is absolute dominance. It's I believe fine for a wife to seek work outside of her house and be employed

Post 65 by sea star (I just keep on posting!) on Thursday, 02-Jul-2009 16:32:37

the biggest turnoffs for me are:
guys looking for sexual relationships only.
guys with long hair.
guys who think it's okay to cheat on there partners, but they are constantly cheating themselves.
and, guys who are control freaks.

Post 66 by Austin's Angel (move over school!) on Monday, 20-Jul-2009 4:18:26

Most of what has already been mentioned are big turn offs for me. I'm not really into guys who drink often, I've had interesting experiences with a guy I was in a relationship who both drank and smoked pot and who knows what else

Post 67 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Friday, 31-Jul-2009 14:35:10

guys who expect their girlfriend to be their own personal maid. (if your limbs are perfectly functional, and it's something really simple like getting a snack, you can get it yourself. I shouldn't have to treat you like a little kid, and neither should anyone else. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind doing things like this sometimes, but if you're constantly asking, that'll get annoying very quickly. People aren't going to hand you stuff on a frickin silver platter. Life doesn't work that way. Take the initiative and do shit for yourself for once in your boring life.)
men who don't understand the meaning of the phraise, 'I'm recovering from an illness, let me sleep." (Even if I don't say it, they should be able to put two and two together, shouldn't they? Why should I have to say something every time I'm tired?)
Men who sit there and say they want something, but then they don't get off their lazy asses and get it themself. (You want to be independent, ask someone to show you how to do something; don't rely on them to do the work. You're too old to cop an I-don't-want-to-do-it attitude. Grow the fuck up, please. People aren't going to hold your hand forever.)
clingy hand-holders who must constantly be around me. (Hello, we all need our own personal space sometimes, or time with our friends.)
There's more to life than a radio station with overplayed music, telephones and their associated sounds, computers, and the BBC. (Please get out there, live life, socialize, and try something new. You just might find a new hobby. Don't get me wrong; I love British people. In case you've forgotten, user 7482, you're ... in ... New ... Zealand. That doesn't make you British, so stop faking that accent, will you?.)
The phraise, "I love you," has lost its meaning. actions speak louder than words. show your next girlfriend, rather than telling her, you love her. Oh wait, you can't find one because you're too fucking immature to understand that being in a relationship involves taking care of each other, rather than being dependent on another person, like one would be of a parental figure. stop being such a baby and making excuses. She's going to need a man, not a little boy in an adult's body.

All that shit you just read was directed at my ex. I know there are good men out there, but after what I have seen, he's given all of you guys a bad wrap. i'm sorry if this post sounds really bitchy, cold, and unlike me, but I've lost the ability to hear the phraise, "I love you," without stiffening or getting upset. More importantly, I've lost the ability to trust guys for quite a long time after that fiasco. Maybe I'll heal eventually, but it still hurts.

Post 68 by tear drop (No longer looking for a prince, merely a pauper with potential!!!!!) on Monday, 03-Aug-2009 19:42:08

Partners who do not appreciate there significant others until it's to late.

Post 69 by rebelwoman (Account disabled) on Sunday, 10-Oct-2010 18:14:21

hmm, men who do not say "how high" when I say jump. Guys who don't come at my becon call. Pretty much men who don't do what I say when I say it. hahaha, way overexadgerated. Really the only thing I don't like is when men think they'r ebetter than me because they're men. sexist bastards. Number one turn off. Oh, also guys who are obsessed with twitter or facebook. ugh, stupid! haha

Post 70 by squidwardqtentacles (I just keep on posting!) on Monday, 11-Oct-2010 15:21:08

Hmm, biggest turnoffs, there are so many let's see...ALL smoking, cigarettes, "smokeless tobacco", cigars, pipes if anything the last two are more nauseating than cigarettes...a man who drinks, fine, but if he shows up on the date w alcohol on his breath, especially if he's obviously a heavy drinker...drumroll....the biggest turnoff and more of a modern trend...the stupid boyish type who refuses to grow up.

If he hides behind the problems of his family of origin to avoid his own life, if he's in his 30's and can't hold onto a job for any length of time, if he's still in debt from a childless divorce that took place many years ago, or if he moved back in with his parents to avoid paying his own living expenses...very childish and so not interestes. And these are characteristics I've actually experienced with former boyfriends that were the #1 turnoff.

Post 71 by CrystalSapphire (Uzuri uongo ndani) on Tuesday, 12-Oct-2010 9:06:49

Smoke and alcahol ugggg.

Post 72 by squidwardqtentacles (I just keep on posting!) on Tuesday, 12-Oct-2010 11:33:17

Failure to grow up can also be a boyish attitude about sex when one is middle aged.

Guys comment on attractive women as do women about attractive men, but if that's all the person is looking for in a mate? What year did they graduate high school?

Also included in this description is an excess of jokes of a sexual nature, and this again comes from my most boyish ex boyfriend. His family was just as crude as he was, so had we stayed together that is what I would have been stuck with. Sex is something that should be special between two people, have something of a mystery, that's what makes it special, to have it bandied around like the ball in a sport...it's like teenagers just going through puberty & discovering its possibilities for the first time. Grow up already!

Post 73 by rebelwoman (Account disabled) on Tuesday, 12-Oct-2010 18:49:17

hmm, I won't be too picky about smoking and drinking. I ain't too high-strung about that stuff. All I ask is that he's respectful and he ain't an alcaholic. If he shows up at my door with even a little buzz, um ... yeah, that's disrespectful. But I ain't gonna bite his head off just because he has a smoke every now and then or he likes to go out with his boddies once in a while and have a few. Hell, I do too. :) I just need him to make sure he keeps it under control.

Now a man who is childish, I'll agree with you 100%. I man 21+ living with his Mama ain't getting a 2nd glance. There's still one exception though. If he's trying like hell to save up enough to move out, and he's seriously only there to get back on his feet, then yeah, that's fine I guess. i can tell the difference between a man who just doesn't wanna work and a man who's trying to be his own man. for example, if he's sitting on his ass and letting his mother do all his laundry and cook all his meals, that's a guy who doesn't wanna work. If he does shit for himself, and he works, I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt. See I like to really consider what I'm dealing with before I judge. I'm not uptight about that stuff.

I'll give you an example of something I am uptight about: abusive sexist controling men. Oh hell no! I don't like being talked to or talked about like I'm property. That's gonna get him no woman and a sharp pain in his lap. :) Also, if he tells me what to do. I'm gonna say, "Don't tell me what to do or you're gonna be doing everything yourself." That's what I do. haha, there's my uptightness. That's probably my biggest turn off looking at it more clearly.

Jessie

Post 74 by squidwardqtentacles (I just keep on posting!) on Wednesday, 13-Oct-2010 13:14:08

Another big turnoff is when it's so obvious they're looking for a mate they wear it on their sleeve.

Now I'm female, and have been unavailable for the last 8 years. I suppose some men may be needy, but I've noticed it more in women, and my example is an acquaintance...one of those friends of a friend...I see the few times a year I am at this couple's house.

This woman is in her 50s, divorced recently, widowed the first time. Every time we see her she whines about the lack of available men, and how they all "want younger girls". Whine, "What does that leave me"? Some aren't interested in dating women with kids...understandable in my book..."whiny tone of voice, "I'm a grandmother." Said individual even went to what was called in the ad "a fat party" with her neighbor, a single mother of a 12 year old boy. ?! How do you explain to your son when he wants to know where you're going, "I'm going with 'Lyn' to a party for men who like fat women." 'Lyn' was surprised to meet not so classy characters and see obese women literally letting it all hang out.

I have been single and married. I understand subtly letting friends and family letting people know you're available and leaving it at that, but when every occasion is a source of hearing about how desparate you are for a mate, it's a turnoff. If men don't want to date women with kids, and you have kids and grandkids, why would you want to be with them?! Instead of feverishly looking for a mate, how about taking up an activity that is of some interest, like evidently this woman can sing, so maybe if she tried her luck singing for the church choir, she'd make if nothing else some interesting friends? If there was only one such experience with this woman, I'd say nothing, but it's routine. The second marriage ended so badly we can't figure out why bother. Her open desperation has got to send these guys running for the hills, and there has to be a better strategy if someone really wants a companion.